"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death."
Psalm 68:19-20
Yesterday we set a new record for time being spent at MD Anderson... we were gone for over 14 hours this time! On Friday my platelets had been low so I figured we would have to stay for me to get a platelet transfusion. What we weren't planning on was my hemoglobin being so low that I would also need 2 units of blood. As we added up how many hours the transfusions would take, we prayed for an early appointment to get it all done. My nurse came in and said that I had an appointment for 2:00... not horrible, but still a few hours off. We went and sat in the Sun Dial room to do some reading and eat lunch until my appointment. My nurse in the transfusion unit was very kind and attentive, but also VERY talkative. He ran the platelets first and then the 2 units of blood. It seemed like it all ran so slow, but I think it is just because I am not used to getting all those transfusions at one time.
When I talked to my doctor that morning at my appointment I asked him how long it would be before he released me to work once I completed my last treatment. "Oh... at least a month," he said. "Seriously????" was my response. I was devastated. He asked if I wanted to go longer and I told him that if it were up to me I would be at work tomorrow. He was so baffled by this because apparently most of his patients want as much time off of work as possible. They are obviously not Kindergarten teachers :) As disappointed as I was (and still am)... the past few entries in the devotional book my mom and I have been reading have been about how God's timing is perfect even when we don't understand it or it isn't our timing. I think this has been one of the hardest things for me. I want to be in control... I want to start the school year with my class... I want to go back to work! My mom and I did laugh when I commented on how this is probably part of the reason that I am going through this difficult treatment for leukemia. I need to let go and allow God to do his work in his time, even if it means I am not in control of my class for the first month of school (FYI- I am not there at all and this is a very difficult thing for me to write). That being said, I would appreciate your prayers as I work through not being able to be in my classroom when school starts in August and as I deal with being home for the first month of school. I would also appreciate your prayers for my counts as they are all still low including my white count. The transfusions from yesterday should help, but I need everything to keep moving up in order to be admitted a week from today (June 1) for round 5.
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I'm always thinking of you, and checking on you. I know how you felt about the not starting school with your class. You and I have always related well on the "control issues." I'm so glad you find comfort in your faith and that you see through your own tribulations and see that it is a lesson of faith. I don't have that same faith, and it can be really hard to understand the ways of the world sometimes. I think, even while you aren't in your classroom, you are still TEACHING so many of us who are following you some very very valuable lessons. You are an amazing young woman, and I am continually honored to say you are my friend.
ReplyDeleteHang in there sweet girl, things will look up again.
Kadin is finished with 3rd grade tomorrow! Then, he and I are heading to MD and PA for 15 days! I'll keep you posted on our adventures!
I had a lesson on control this week from God as well, friend. They are not easy lessons, but I at least can see that God is continuing to shape and mold me more into His imagine. It's so hard for me to understand that my time is really His, my money is really His, and I am really living my life for Him and not for myself. You'd think it would sink into our heads after awhile, but alas I'm afraid we will struggle with these lessons until the day we go home. My heart is breaking with you today at the news of your August set-back and I will continue to pray for a miracle. I love you so much friend. Keep your beautiful bald head held high! :)
ReplyDelete-Erin Wilkins
Remember that everything happens for a reason, little girl. There is a reason that you will need to wait a month to start school just as there is a reason you moved to Cy-Fair at that point in your life. You have been so supported and loved by the staff and I truly believe that your school has helped give you the strength and courage you needed. It will be tough for you but you will be stronger for it.
ReplyDeleteI love Shannon Poole's comment that you are teaching US lessons because you are. Even in adversity, you are incredibly strong and devoted in your faith. Your continued joy in life and the humor you find in trying situations is an inspiration to us all.
Always thinking of you,
Amy Wolfe
Katrina,
ReplyDeleteDon't you worry for one single second about your students next year. I know you want to start the school year off with them, but just like you, they are in the Lord's hands and are being taken care of just fine. I will continue to pray for the kids and their parents that they know what a blessing you are going to be in their lives. I love to be in control but I love and can truly appreciate God's timing now with everything we have been through. You don't want to revel in God's holiness when you see it as a hindsight, but you want to revel in it during the process. Everything will be just fine, leave it to Him. Love you and praying for you daily.
With continued prayer,
Jacque Hardy and Family
P.S. still coveting on how lucky those kids are that will have you next year...
oh, dear sweet sister,
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about you a ton the past few days. A couple of nights ago I had a dream that we went shopping for the perfect baseball hat for you- but all we could find were trucker hats, you know the kind with the mesh back? You could see your head through them. Weird on so many levels. Then I kept trying to make cancer jokes to make you laugh, but you didn't think they were funny. :)
Yesterday I saw a comercial for the Rondald McDonald house and a little girl who danced with her sister until her sister got sick. But then the sister got better. I started crying! I love you SO SO much. You are teaching us all so much about how to have a Godly perspective on life through this.
erica
A Hymn of Faith:
ReplyDeleteI know that my Redeemer lives;
What joy the blest assurance gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my everlasting head!
He lives, to bless me with his love;
He lives, to plead for me above;
He lives, my hungry soul to feed;
He lives, to help in time of need.
I hope you know the tune to this wonderful
hymn of hope, Katrina. Stay strong and God bless you and the family.
Cathy J
I find it amazing how you can teach me so much about God and his plan while you are going through this incredible challenge. I don't know if it will make you feel better, but even if you aren't in a classroom you are teaching all of us so much about faith and strength and perseverence. I know most of the people reading this are a little older then your normal audience, but once a teacher always a teacher I guess. Reading your blog has opened my eyes to some much. My husband and I have been facing some pretty crazy challenges from the army and because of you I have verses that you have posted on here all over my office on note cards, I read them daily. You were a mentor for me way back when and even now, while you are getting blood transfusions, you are mentoring and guiding me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteKatrina,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that you will not be able to be back in August. K teachers are funny little creatures--- are we not? Yup--control freaks too! Praying that God will bless this extra time you will have with Him. So, there has got to be a fun way that you can have some interaction with your students in August--- some kind of nightly backpack where they tell you about themselves???--- will have to keep pondering this.
Love, Kami